Workout giggles...

That moment in your office when you have finished your lunch time workout - in your office because its pouring and you cant go for a walk - you are sweating your ass off - lean closer into your plastic desk top fan for a breeze and your necklace gets caught in the fan blade and the fan is now stuck all the way smashed up in your face and you cant stop laughing so hard to call your co-worker for help and maybe you are too smelly and maybe too embarrassed to call your co worker for help and .... whew you get the necklace (a very nice expensive Tiffany one) untangled and undamaged... AND you did not even have to utter a peep to your co workers! SO THERE!!!! Except you have to explain the design of the fan cage marks pressed into your face. Only me....

Day one

Day one of the journey:

I did it - I skipped lunch with the ladies and I went for a 30 minute walk.  Nike says I walk faster than I run... sadly that might be true but I have never set the goal to be a fast runner - just a fit runner.  So no one in my office melted, died or even made a fuss over my absence at the lunch table.  I have found 30 minutes that I can workout!!!!  I joined Nutrisystem to get on track for the wedding.  I do not fundamentally agree with this program - lots of processed food but I need to start somewhere and the mindlessness of this program is just what I need.  After the wedding I will get on track with healthy eating.  

The food was not bad in day one but i did find I was pretty grumpy at the end of the night - poor Brian.  

I am struggling with how bad I really look.  When I saw my engagement pictures I cried... a lot.  I am sad that this body will be documented in my wedding pictures.  I want to be beautiful for Brian on that magical day and right now - I just don't see that.  We had two pool parties over the holiday weekend and I was embarrassed to put on a bathing suit.  

I used to be the girl that people made fun of for being so skinny.  Now I'm the girl I hate for being so fat - I can't win.